PJF Sloppy Joe Schmoes

I'm going to be honest here. I've never really made sloppy joes without the use of manwich! Okay, except, maybe, when I used ketchup and steak sauce, but hubby was not a fan. Now I'm sort of anti-Manwich, but dangit... I want some joes! That said, you're about to witness something really exciting.
I've been staring at Sloppy Joes on my calendar all week and been more or less clueless of how I'm going to do it. I had a rough idea of what I wanted in it, but I have no idea how it's going to taste. Are you cringing yet? You're the first to see this recipe, because I am making it up on the fly. That's right! I am having one of those Remy Ratatouille moments I talk about!


Are you ready for the most interesting garbage you've ever had?

What you'll need:

1 lb ground beef
3 stalks celery
1 medium yellow onion
2 carrots (I'm using baby carrots, cuz it's what we had in the fridge. Why buy whole carrots when you've already got carrots, right? 3-4 baby carrots will equal 1 whole carrot)
2 cans tomato paste
1 can diced tomatoes
2T carob or cocoa powder (unsweetened)
olive oil
2 portabello mushroom caps, gutted
shredded lettuce

Slice onion into quarters. Slice again to get half-rings.

Slice/chop celery and carrots.

In large frying pan, drizzle olive oil (enough to coat pan generously). Add onions. When they caramelize a little, add ground beef, celery, and carrots.

This would be a good time to add any seasoning you would like in your dish. I added some chili powder and garlic. When beef is cooked through, add tomato paste, diced tomatoes, and cocoa/carob powder, and coat well.

Take portabello mushroom cap, and remove stem and gills (gut it, but gently). If you wish, you may brush with melted butter or ghee and cook them a little on a griddle or separate pan.

Top with shredded lettuce and meat mixture. I added blue cheese crumbles and guacamole to mine. Sensational!

Go ahead... take a bite


I hope you are as excited as I am about creating something new, completely on the fly! Don't ever be afraid to throw a bunch of stuff in a bowl to see if it works ;)
Remy would totally do it!

By the way, this recipe is approved by the Queen of the Universe