Primal S'mores

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Was nomming one of my favorite desserts last night (mascarpone stuffed dates with candied pecans) and it occurred to me that with a simple change it could taste like s'mores!

medjool dates
Enjoy Life mini chocolate chips

slice open dates and remove pit, stuff with mascarpone, and top with chocolate chips.
Eat. Enjoy!

PJF Pizza Casserole

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I really wish I had a more awesome name for this awesome dish.  It came about because I was not impressed by gluten free pizza crusts-- not that we have them all that often.  We've probably used 3 name brand pizza crusts since going Primal in Jan 2011.  I also believe that most breads and pastas, including pizza crust, are just means of transportation for more delicious things.  So I got to thinking.  I want pizza, but I don't want icky crust (unless it's Pizza Hut, but that's just not going to happen.  I'm pretty sure their p'zones are laced with crack). 

This is what you'll need:

1 lb ground Italian sausage
1 bag shredded pizza cheese (a cheese blend is nice)
1 can muir glen pizza sauce
1/2 can jumbo olives, sliced
15 slices genoa salami
1 package canadian bacon, pizza sliced
1/2 package pepperoni
1/2 onion
1 large bell pepper
several mushrooms
1 can diced tomatoes (optional)

Preheat oven 350F.  Chop up your bell pepper, onion, and mushrooms and sautee in heated pan with regular olive oil (not virgin).  Set aside when onions are translucent.

In same pan, cook ground Italian sausage.  When it begins to brown, you may add diced tomatoes if you wish.  Drain.

Place meat into glass dish and layer on veggies.

Add 1/2 bag of cheese and 1/2 can of pizza sauce.

Layer on salami, canadian bacon, and pepperoni

Top with olives, sauce, and the remainder of the cheese.  Bake at 350F for 30 mins, until golden.  I sprinkled some oregano on top prior to baking.

Dish up.

Tuck in, dudes!  I promise you won't even miss the crust.

Rodents of Unusual Size... ON A STICK!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

You may not have noticed, but the people from Paleo Parents have come out with a cute cookbook for kids called Eat Like A Dinosaur. We've cooked a few recipes out of it, and we're considering getting a copy for Grace's school. They're always sending home paleo recipes (even though they're not a paleo school), and I think it would be good for them to have a kid's cookbook for other gluten free kids like Grace. One of the recipes in this book is Rat on a Stick-- a nod to Shrek (one of my favorite movies. Birds that explode when they sing? Yes, thank you.)

As Grace & I were cooking this, the sick little cogs in my head began to tick. Oh the twist I could put on this!

So I did. I'm warning you now, if you are squeamish or lack a (morbid) sense of humor, find another blog to read for today.

What you'll need:

2 lbs ground beef (preferably grass fed.  If you can't afford GF, try a mix of lean ground beef & ground Italian turkey sausage)
1/2 spaghetti squash
2-4 roma tomatoes
2-4 celery stalks
1/2c currants
avocado (optional)
pork jowl bacon (optional)
Your favorite meatloaf seasonings (or view my meatloaf recipe here)

Preheat oven 350F

Begin by splitting your squash in half lengthwise and removing the seeds.  Place face down and stab repeatedly ala Norman Bates.   Place in oven and cook for 30-45 mins.

Meanwhile, chop your celery & tomatoes

When spaghetti squash is done, remove from oven and allow to cool.  When cool enough to handle, use fork to string out spaghetti squash strands.

Line a baking sheet with tinfoil.

Mix your meat with meatloaf seasonings.  Divide thoroughly mixed meat into thirds.  Grab a chunk and pat it out into a nice patty steak.

Plunk a pile of spaghetti squash down.  Sprinkle with currants.  Do you see where this is going?

Next, place celery into the belly of the beast.  Mmmm... looks like furball had a great, paleo lunch!
Last, stuff the pectoral region with tomatoes.  Thump-thump.  Thump-thump.

If you are using avocados, now is a good time to grab a nice chunk of it and stuff it where brains would be.

Repeat above steps for additional R.O.U.S.

Take your last 1/3 meat mix and cut it in half.  Make another patty steak and place on top.  Carefully mold together the top and bottom until you have a meatloaf-sized carcass.   Skewer.  Just for effect.  It will not hold together if you try to pick it up with the skewer so don't try.  It just makes me giggle is all.

Cut your tinfoil in half and wrap it around your beast.  Toss on grill and cook thoroughly.  About 20-30 mins.


For extra effect, use pork jowl bacon for ears.  Top with your favorite Q' or ketchup (we use Simply Heinz.  Very basic ingredient list.  Quite nice, really)

Tuck in, dudes!

Chupacabra.  CHUPACABRA!

Raw Chocolate Covered Coconut Macaroons

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Just to clarify: the chocolate is raw. The macaroons are not.

Let it be known I'm a sucker for coconut macaroons.  Let it also be known that I consider chocolate to be a health food.  Oh and everyone knows that foods are always better when they are closest to their most natural state-- ala raw.  What better than to combine my beloved macs with raw chocolate?  Can you say SUPERFOOD?  I knew you could.

What you'll need:


3c shredded coconut
1c egg whites
1/2T vanilla
1t almond extract
1/2c-1c raw coconut nectar (depending on your tastes)


1 oz raw cacao butter
2T raw coconut oil  (the EVCO in the pic isn't raw, but it's delicious goshdarnit!)
1/4c raw cacao powder
1t vanilla
pinch sea salt
raw coconut nectar to taste

Preheat Oven to 300F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper

In glass bowl, whip egg whites until frothy, just before peak stage.  It will help if you add a little cream of tartar.  I added a splash of key lime juice, too.

Using spatula, combine with coconut, vanilla, almond extract.

Fold gently.  Begin sweetening by adding 1/2c coconut nectar and mix thoroughly.

Taste.  If necessary, add another 1/4c coconut nectar.  Continue to do so until it reaches your desired sweetness (everyone's sweet tooth has a different threshold.  Mine was 3/4c for the whole batch).

Grab some of the mix and carefully press into ball in your hand.  Place gently on parchment paper.  I got about 16 macs from 1/2 the batch.

Slide into oven, let cook 15-20 mins or until golden.

Meanwhile, slowly melt cacao butter & coconut oil together over very low heat-- not to exceed 108F.

When melted, mix in 1/4c cacao powder, vanilla, and sea salt.  Add coconut nectar gradually, tasting after each mix in until you're happy with it.  The less sugar you add, the darker it will be.
Mix until your batch turns gooey & ganache-y.  If you don't know what viscosity ganache is, you might want to make some in advance, just in case!
Remove from heat.

Your macs should be done by now.  Remove from oven and allow to cool.

When they are safe to handle, coat with your raw chocolate ganache stuff.

Place on parchment paper, and allow to rest in fridge until set.  

Tuck in, Dudes!

Tea-Crusted Chicken

Monday, April 30, 2012

This recipe was the 5/2/12 recipe of the day on Fast Paleo!

I like Republic of Tea and Zhena's Gypsy Tea Co. I like when I get my RoT catalog in the mail with their newest free sample. I especially like when I get crazy ideas on how to use them unconventionally. Who can argue the benefits of rooibos or green tea? This is one of those recipes I completely made up on the fly. I just got a general idea of the end product I wanted and went for it. I hope you're never afraid to experiment in this manner and share with your friends.

What you'll need:

6 chicken drumsticks
2 sachets (abt 1T) of your favorite tea (I used Mango Ceylon & Rooibos Apple Cider)
1/2 can Coconut milk
1.5T Old Bay
1T Ground coriander
OPTIONAL (but helpful) 1/2c ea Coconut & Almond flour (1c total)
A ziploc (I'm a shake n bake girl)

Preheat oven 350F

 Pour coconut milk into bowl.   Allow drumsticks to go for a swim.

Snip open tea sachets and empty contents into ziploc.  Add old bay and coriander.  You may wish to add coconut & almond flour to help fill out the breading.  (If you want to omit this step, simply mix loose tea, old bay, and coriander and sprinkle over chicken, ala dry rub.)

Place drumsticks into ziploc & SHAKE!

Place breaded drumsticks on to cookie sheet.  We like to line ours with tinfoil.

Bake at 350F for 30-45 mins, until cooked through.

Plate with your favorite veggies.

Tuck in, Dudes!

Li'l Puffs Review

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

If you ever wanted to pry military secrets from me, you need only tempt me with 2 things:
A Red Robin bleu ribbon burger with extra chipotle mayo or a tiger butter marshmallow from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.
I swear, chocolate covered marshmallows (probably marshmallows in general) will be the death of me.  I've decided that when I die, I will either have a grass-fed bacon-wrapped filet mignon in my teeth or a mouth full of marshmallows.  I'd die happy either way, but marshmallows are my kryptonite.
In honesty, I'm a marshmallow snob.  I won't cave for just any marshmallow.  It has to be gourmet.  Everything's better when it's made by hand, right?
Hence my interest in Li'l Puffs
They were generous enough to send me this goodie package:

Hand made and cut, natural marshmallows, and a mallow pop.  What makes Li'l Puffs unique is how they flavor their mallows. 
Your standard, supermarket variety flavored marshmallows usually contain artificial flavors, colors, and some chemicals. 
Li'l Puffs uses fruit puree to flavor their products.  There are no artificial ingredients, simply gelatin, sugar, starch, and fruit.  It's a marvelous thing, really.

It was a hot day when my mallows arrived, and they had wilted a little.  I mentioned it to Li'l Puffs on Facebook, and they offered to replace my order right away.  A+ for customer service!  I told them that wouldn't be necessary.  I placed the mallows in the fridge and they firmed up nicely. 
Of course I couldn't resist trying them before that point, though (which is how I discovered they were wilty).  They were foamy, slightly warm, and delightful.  I prefer a chewier marshmallow though, and once they firmed up in the fridge after a day, they were equally enthralling.  My favorite was the raspberry, followed by passion fruit, the mallow pop, coffee flavor, and lastly the strawberry.  I prefer very strong flavors.  I shared with the husband & kid.  Grace liked them all (naturally.  I mean you're crazy if you don't secretly love marshmallows!), and the man liked the Strawberry.  His palette tends to be a lot more mellow.
Naturally I also did a campfire test by spearing 1 mallow from each pack on to a butter knife and taking my brulee torch to it.  These guys are impressively puffy.  I roasted them to at least 1.5x their size without burning.  Probably 2x their size before they started sliding off my knife.

The only thing I would change about the ingredients is to make them a little more Primal friendly, by switching out the corn syrup and rice flour for raw coconut nectar and arrowroot powder, but they were very tasty as they were.  They even make a vegan-friendly mallow for special orders.

It's a great little company, and I hope you'll check them out when you're hit with a mallow craving.

Disclaimer: Li'l Puffs provided me with a free sample of their product to review. I was not under any obligation to write a positive review or sponsor a product giveaway in return for the free product.

Paleo Pear Fritters

Sunday, April 22, 2012

UPDATE!  These Pear Fritters were the recipe of the day for 4/24/12 on Fast Paleo

I wish I had something clever to say about this recipe, but I don't.  Sometimes you just want something deep fried and smothered in chocolate, amiright?

What you'll need:

1 pear
1 egg
coconut cream or milk
1/4c coconut flour
2T baking powder
pumpkin spice
1/2c coconut oil (preferably Something Pure Cinnamon Bun flavored, cuz it's awesome)
(optional) creme fraiche, mascarpone, Greek yogurt, or whipped cream

Get  your coconut oil going in a large pan.  Meanwhile, core pear and slice with mandolin

Avoid doing this:

Scramble together egg, cream, vanilla, and pumpkin spice

Combine coconut flour & baking powder well

Dip into egg wash

Coat well with coconut flour & baking powder

 Gingerly place into hot EVCO.

Fry.  Careful not to burn, baby, burn ala Disco Inferno.


Plate with a dollop of creme fraiche, mascarpone, Greek yogurt, or whipped cream (optional). 

Tuck in, dudes!

The PJF Manifesto

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Every few months I get a comment that goes along the lines of "none of the food on your blog is primal", "how dare you call yourself primal" or "it's no wonder you've gained weight eating this way"

It's high time I set a few things straight.

If you think my blog is all about eating s'mores for breakfast, doughnuts for lunch, and ice cream for dinner, then you're missing the entire point of the blog. Yes, I've gained weight since going Primal, but it's been from my boundless curiousity trying to bend the laws of gluten free creations, some depression, and a minor binge disorder. I don't endorse eating junk food at every meal. I certainly don't do it myself! My blog is there to share my love of food, improve people's lives with quick and easy fixes (which are usually more nutritious than what they've been eating on a CW SAD), and bring joy and connections.  If you read my recipes, you may notice a certain tongue-in-cheek approach.  I poke fun at everything.  I mean, really?  SPAGHETTI DOUGHNUTS!  PARSNIP PANCAKES!  How can you take them seriously and not laugh at them?  If you can't take them with the same sense of humor in which I write them, then you have no soul.

I'm sorry if I fail to meet your fantasy standards of what a Primal lady should look like.  I'm not ripped like Mark Sisson, a ninja like the oriental beauty from Nom Nom Paleo, and I'm certainly not pretty like Sarah Fragoso or Hayley Mason.  I'm just me.  I'd give my left arm to be as fast as Usain Bolt, or do a human flag like Al Kavadlo.    I'm an average joe inviting you into my kitchen.

I'm not making excuses for myself either.  The PJF blog is intended for use as an indulgence guide for Primal living.  Also if you think all of recipes on here are junk food, then you obviously haven't gone through my recipes for disaster which include stir fry, burgers, salads, and sherpherd's pie (not to mention my Christmas coup de triomphe Beef Wellington).  The doughnuts I made (which were the winning recipe of the day on Fast Paleo) were made of meat and vegetables.  My latest pancakes are made from parsnips.  If you think I eat junk food at every meal, you are sorely mistaken.  I lead a 90% Primal life, and 80% paleo life (I enjoy on occasion full fat Greek yogurt, grass fed heavy cream, and mascarpone).  The bulk of the sugar I ingest comes from fruit.  Our dinners are almost always paleo.  I posted my fried s'mores recipe after a morning run (I'm training for a marathon in September).  My last two hA1c were 5.5 and 6.  In my defense, the 6 was because I've been on steroids for the last month due to a recent surgery.

If you feel compelled to tell I'm not primal because of what I post on this blog, be sure to at least say it to my face and sign your name.

What the bulk of my diet looks like: