Rodents of Unusual Size... ON A STICK!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

You may not have noticed, but the people from Paleo Parents have come out with a cute cookbook for kids called Eat Like A Dinosaur. We've cooked a few recipes out of it, and we're considering getting a copy for Grace's school. They're always sending home paleo recipes (even though they're not a paleo school), and I think it would be good for them to have a kid's cookbook for other gluten free kids like Grace. One of the recipes in this book is Rat on a Stick-- a nod to Shrek (one of my favorite movies. Birds that explode when they sing? Yes, thank you.)

As Grace & I were cooking this, the sick little cogs in my head began to tick. Oh the twist I could put on this!

So I did. I'm warning you now, if you are squeamish or lack a (morbid) sense of humor, find another blog to read for today.

What you'll need:

2 lbs ground beef (preferably grass fed.  If you can't afford GF, try a mix of lean ground beef & ground Italian turkey sausage)
1/2 spaghetti squash
2-4 roma tomatoes
2-4 celery stalks
1/2c currants
avocado (optional)
pork jowl bacon (optional)
Your favorite meatloaf seasonings (or view my meatloaf recipe here)

Preheat oven 350F

Begin by splitting your squash in half lengthwise and removing the seeds.  Place face down and stab repeatedly ala Norman Bates.   Place in oven and cook for 30-45 mins.

Meanwhile, chop your celery & tomatoes

When spaghetti squash is done, remove from oven and allow to cool.  When cool enough to handle, use fork to string out spaghetti squash strands.

Line a baking sheet with tinfoil.

Mix your meat with meatloaf seasonings.  Divide thoroughly mixed meat into thirds.  Grab a chunk and pat it out into a nice patty steak.

Plunk a pile of spaghetti squash down.  Sprinkle with currants.  Do you see where this is going?

Next, place celery into the belly of the beast.  Mmmm... looks like furball had a great, paleo lunch!
Last, stuff the pectoral region with tomatoes.  Thump-thump.  Thump-thump.

If you are using avocados, now is a good time to grab a nice chunk of it and stuff it where brains would be.

Repeat above steps for additional R.O.U.S.

Take your last 1/3 meat mix and cut it in half.  Make another patty steak and place on top.  Carefully mold together the top and bottom until you have a meatloaf-sized carcass.   Skewer.  Just for effect.  It will not hold together if you try to pick it up with the skewer so don't try.  It just makes me giggle is all.

Cut your tinfoil in half and wrap it around your beast.  Toss on grill and cook thoroughly.  About 20-30 mins.


For extra effect, use pork jowl bacon for ears.  Top with your favorite Q' or ketchup (we use Simply Heinz.  Very basic ingredient list.  Quite nice, really)

Tuck in, dudes!

Chupacabra.  CHUPACABRA!

Raw Chocolate Covered Coconut Macaroons

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Just to clarify: the chocolate is raw. The macaroons are not.

Let it be known I'm a sucker for coconut macaroons.  Let it also be known that I consider chocolate to be a health food.  Oh and everyone knows that foods are always better when they are closest to their most natural state-- ala raw.  What better than to combine my beloved macs with raw chocolate?  Can you say SUPERFOOD?  I knew you could.

What you'll need:


3c shredded coconut
1c egg whites
1/2T vanilla
1t almond extract
1/2c-1c raw coconut nectar (depending on your tastes)


1 oz raw cacao butter
2T raw coconut oil  (the EVCO in the pic isn't raw, but it's delicious goshdarnit!)
1/4c raw cacao powder
1t vanilla
pinch sea salt
raw coconut nectar to taste

Preheat Oven to 300F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper

In glass bowl, whip egg whites until frothy, just before peak stage.  It will help if you add a little cream of tartar.  I added a splash of key lime juice, too.

Using spatula, combine with coconut, vanilla, almond extract.

Fold gently.  Begin sweetening by adding 1/2c coconut nectar and mix thoroughly.

Taste.  If necessary, add another 1/4c coconut nectar.  Continue to do so until it reaches your desired sweetness (everyone's sweet tooth has a different threshold.  Mine was 3/4c for the whole batch).

Grab some of the mix and carefully press into ball in your hand.  Place gently on parchment paper.  I got about 16 macs from 1/2 the batch.

Slide into oven, let cook 15-20 mins or until golden.

Meanwhile, slowly melt cacao butter & coconut oil together over very low heat-- not to exceed 108F.

When melted, mix in 1/4c cacao powder, vanilla, and sea salt.  Add coconut nectar gradually, tasting after each mix in until you're happy with it.  The less sugar you add, the darker it will be.
Mix until your batch turns gooey & ganache-y.  If you don't know what viscosity ganache is, you might want to make some in advance, just in case!
Remove from heat.

Your macs should be done by now.  Remove from oven and allow to cool.

When they are safe to handle, coat with your raw chocolate ganache stuff.

Place on parchment paper, and allow to rest in fridge until set.  

Tuck in, Dudes!