Paleo Pear Fritters

UPDATE!  These Pear Fritters were the recipe of the day for 4/24/12 on Fast Paleo



I wish I had something clever to say about this recipe, but I don't.  Sometimes you just want something deep fried and smothered in chocolate, amiright?

What you'll need:

1 pear
1 egg
coconut cream or milk
1/4c coconut flour
2T baking powder
vanilla
pumpkin spice
1/2c coconut oil (preferably Something Pure Cinnamon Bun flavored, cuz it's awesome)
(optional) creme fraiche, mascarpone, Greek yogurt, or whipped cream

Get  your coconut oil going in a large pan.  Meanwhile, core pear and slice with mandolin

Avoid doing this:

Scramble together egg, cream, vanilla, and pumpkin spice

Combine coconut flour & baking powder well

 

Dip into egg wash

Coat well with coconut flour & baking powder

 Gingerly place into hot EVCO.

Fry.  Careful not to burn, baby, burn ala Disco Inferno.

Fan-fritter-tastic!

Plate with a dollop of creme fraiche, mascarpone, Greek yogurt, or whipped cream (optional). 

Tuck in, dudes!

The PJF Manifesto

Every few months I get a comment that goes along the lines of "none of the food on your blog is primal", "how dare you call yourself primal" or "it's no wonder you've gained weight eating this way"

It's high time I set a few things straight.

If you think my blog is all about eating s'mores for breakfast, doughnuts for lunch, and ice cream for dinner, then you're missing the entire point of the blog. Yes, I've gained weight since going Primal, but it's been from my boundless curiousity trying to bend the laws of gluten free creations, some depression, and a minor binge disorder. I don't endorse eating junk food at every meal. I certainly don't do it myself! My blog is there to share my love of food, improve people's lives with quick and easy fixes (which are usually more nutritious than what they've been eating on a CW SAD), and bring joy and connections.  If you read my recipes, you may notice a certain tongue-in-cheek approach.  I poke fun at everything.  I mean, really?  SPAGHETTI DOUGHNUTS!  PARSNIP PANCAKES!  How can you take them seriously and not laugh at them?  If you can't take them with the same sense of humor in which I write them, then you have no soul.

I'm sorry if I fail to meet your fantasy standards of what a Primal lady should look like.  I'm not ripped like Mark Sisson, a ninja like the oriental beauty from Nom Nom Paleo, and I'm certainly not pretty like Sarah Fragoso or Hayley Mason.  I'm just me.  I'd give my left arm to be as fast as Usain Bolt, or do a human flag like Al Kavadlo.    I'm an average joe inviting you into my kitchen.

I'm not making excuses for myself either.  The PJF blog is intended for use as an indulgence guide for Primal living.  Also if you think all of recipes on here are junk food, then you obviously haven't gone through my recipes for disaster which include stir fry, burgers, salads, and sherpherd's pie (not to mention my Christmas coup de triomphe Beef Wellington).  The doughnuts I made (which were the winning recipe of the day on Fast Paleo) were made of meat and vegetables.  My latest pancakes are made from parsnips.  If you think I eat junk food at every meal, you are sorely mistaken.  I lead a 90% Primal life, and 80% paleo life (I enjoy on occasion full fat Greek yogurt, grass fed heavy cream, and mascarpone).  The bulk of the sugar I ingest comes from fruit.  Our dinners are almost always paleo.  I posted my fried s'mores recipe after a morning run (I'm training for a marathon in September).  My last two hA1c were 5.5 and 6.  In my defense, the 6 was because I've been on steroids for the last month due to a recent surgery.

If you feel compelled to tell I'm not primal because of what I post on this blog, be sure to at least say it to my face and sign your name.

What the bulk of my diet looks like:

Fried Primal S'mores

 S'mores.  You're going to want some at some point in your Primal journey.  The bring back memories of summer, of nights under a star lit sky with a camp fire and glow bugs.  These days it seems like everything is fried.  Why not fry your s'mores, too?

What you'll need:
1 pure wrap
peanut butter & co dark chocolate dreams (or Justin's chocolate almond butter)
mascarpone
coconut oil (preferably chocolate coconut oil from Something Pure)

get your coconut oil going in a deep pan.
Spread chocolate deliciousness & mascarpone over pure wrap.
Fold like a burrito.
Carefully place in coconut oil and fry (1-2 mins per side).
Eat delicious meltedness.
Make s'more ;)

Chocolate Chip Parsnip Pancakes

First off, happy April Fools! Secondly, I'm addicted to parsnips. They smell like rootbeer and taste like awesome.
I'm also a chocolate addict.
When I was a kid, the Arizona tea company had a chocolate rootbeer. Naturally, I thought of combining chocolate with rootbeer somehow, but didn't know how to keep it Primal. And then I discovered parsnips. So here goes.

What you'll need:
2-4 large parsnips
1/2c almond flour
2 eggs
1 tsp baking powder
Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips (or any super dark chocolate chips, really)

chop up parsnips and boil them until soft. Drain. Mash 'em. Take your anger out on them. Pulverize them. Or, ya know, just throw it in a food processor.
Mix in almond flour, eggs, baking powder, and chocolate chips.
On a hot oiled skillet plunk down your pancake batter.
Flip. Eat. Enjoy!

P.S.  I threw blackberries and vanilla in mine and had purple April Fools Day pancakes.  Also I used Artisana cacao bliss on them instead of butter.  I told you I was a chocolate junkie.

Paleo Chocolate Milk

When you think about chocolate milk, paleo probably doesn't come immediately to mind. In fact, Paleo Chocolate Milk is probably a giant oxymoron. Yet here we are discussing it.
If you find yourself missing your morning nesquik, I have a fix for you.
I sort of came across it when I was looking for refuel/re-hyrdration options for my long runs. I knew I wanted to take a coconut water route (and 15 oz vita coco with 15 oz water is pretty tasty), but then I discovered Zico Chocolate Coconut Water and went OMG! The I started flipping out when I tasted it, and immediately grabbed some coconut milk. Thus was born Paleo chocolate milk.
You may thank me for my brilliance now.

What you'll need:

1 bottle Zico chocolate coconut water
1/2c coconut cream (yes, specifically coconut CREAM)

Pour 1/2 cup coconut cream into tall glass. Follow up with 10 fl oz chocolate coconut water.

Stir. Drink. Marvel.

Vow never to drink Nesquik again cuz you're SOLD on this stuff!

Okay, okay. It's not 100000% Paleo cuz it has cane sugar in it, but I guarantee it's gonna obliterate your chocolate milk craving and be a bazillion times healthier for you than your little yellow and blue labeled bunny friend.