Chocolate Chip Parsnip Pancakes

First off, happy April Fools! Secondly, I'm addicted to parsnips. They smell like rootbeer and taste like awesome.
I'm also a chocolate addict.
When I was a kid, the Arizona tea company had a chocolate rootbeer. Naturally, I thought of combining chocolate with rootbeer somehow, but didn't know how to keep it Primal. And then I discovered parsnips. So here goes.

What you'll need:
2-4 large parsnips
1/2c almond flour
2 eggs
1 tsp baking powder
Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips (or any super dark chocolate chips, really)

chop up parsnips and boil them until soft. Drain. Mash 'em. Take your anger out on them. Pulverize them. Or, ya know, just throw it in a food processor.
Mix in almond flour, eggs, baking powder, and chocolate chips.
On a hot oiled skillet plunk down your pancake batter.
Flip. Eat. Enjoy!

P.S.  I threw blackberries and vanilla in mine and had purple April Fools Day pancakes.  Also I used Artisana cacao bliss on them instead of butter.  I told you I was a chocolate junkie.

Paleo Chocolate Milk

When you think about chocolate milk, paleo probably doesn't come immediately to mind. In fact, Paleo Chocolate Milk is probably a giant oxymoron. Yet here we are discussing it.
If you find yourself missing your morning nesquik, I have a fix for you.
I sort of came across it when I was looking for refuel/re-hyrdration options for my long runs. I knew I wanted to take a coconut water route (and 15 oz vita coco with 15 oz water is pretty tasty), but then I discovered Zico Chocolate Coconut Water and went OMG! The I started flipping out when I tasted it, and immediately grabbed some coconut milk. Thus was born Paleo chocolate milk.
You may thank me for my brilliance now.

What you'll need:

1 bottle Zico chocolate coconut water
1/2c coconut cream (yes, specifically coconut CREAM)

Pour 1/2 cup coconut cream into tall glass. Follow up with 10 fl oz chocolate coconut water.

Stir. Drink. Marvel.

Vow never to drink Nesquik again cuz you're SOLD on this stuff!

Okay, okay. It's not 100000% Paleo cuz it has cane sugar in it, but I guarantee it's gonna obliterate your chocolate milk craving and be a bazillion times healthier for you than your little yellow and blue labeled bunny friend.

PJF Cocobananarama Custard

I believe custard is one of God's most perfect meals. Fat + protein = pure awesomeness. I've done custard on the PJF blog before, but I wanted to do a 100% Paleo one. I believe this one fits the bill, and is a great PWO recovery meal to boot!

What you'll need:

1 old, super ripe, stinky banana
1 can coconut milk
4 eggs
1T raw vanilla (Ojio makes some)
VARIATION: Add some real pineapple juice to the base for a pina colada custard!

Preheat oven to 350F

Scramble eggs, cut in banana, and smash it up thoroughly.

Pour coconut milk and add vanilla

Pour into oven safe dishes

place in oven for 45 mins, or until knife comes out clean

Tuck in, dudes!

Spaghetti Doughnuts

UPDATE!  These Spaghetti Doughnuts were the recipe of the day for 2/27/12 on Fast Paleo
*Sigh* Do you remember those days when breakfast consisted of a doughnut and an extra large Nesquik? I sure do!
I also remember the resulting amount of insulin I'd have to take for it.

I've been thinking about doughnuts lately and even bought a doughnut pan, cuz I have nefarious plans for it. I guess we could start with this very perfidious one.
Earlier this evening we were sitting down to one of my favorite meals, Paleo Spaghetti. It's one of the most basic paleo recipes you should have in your repertoire (seriously, what's easier than cooking spaghetti squash, meat, sauce, and throwing it together in a bowl?)
Yet as I was eating, the husband looked over at me and (as many couples who have been married a number of years will know) sensed that something was on my mind. So he asked what's up.
"My inner mad scientist is chattering."
The husband, warily: "Whaaaat are you thiiiinking?" (cuz thoughts like that tend to get me into trouble)
"Spahgetti doughnuts."
"STOP."
*blink* "It's not wha-"
"It's wrong on so many levels."
*laughing* "Just let me finish"
The husband, not impressed, was still wary

What you'll need:

1/2 spaghetti squash, baked (this is a great recipe if you just had paleo spaghetti and need to use the other half of the squash)
1 lb ground beef, preferably grass fed (or pork, if you can get it pastured)
6 eggs
3/4c spaghetti sauce
1 can tomato paste
Parmesan (optional)
doughnut pan


Preheat oven 350F.

String out your baked spaghetti into a bowl.

Brown ground beef, and combine with squash. Add sauce. And ridiculous amount of grated/shredded parmesan if that's your kind of thing.

Scramble eggs and combine thoroughly with spaghetti.

When combined, it should move pretty fluidly- like cake batter.


Carefully place into doughnut pan

Bake until set, about 25-30 mins

And don't try to get creative by spinning this into pizza doughnuts either, cuz I already came up with that brain child *neener* :oP

Fat Sprouts and Happy Piggy

I will have you know that I am very pro-locavore. If I find a product produced locally and like it, I scream it to the world and get it whenever I can. Today's recipe is no different.

While out grocery shopping, I grabbed a copy of Edible Wasatch. It is, in the words of Rhino from the movie Bolt, "Be-Awesome!"
I am proud to live in a state so rich in food and culture, and equally proud to support it.

One of the recipes really jumped out at me, and I wanted to base a Paleo breakfast around it. This recipe is inspired by Executive chef, Michael Showers's Brussels with Pork Belly and Poached Egg. His recipe is already 100% Primal, but I wanted to make a couple of tweaks and make it my own.

What you'll need:

3 cups brussel sprouts
2 eggs
2 oz pastured lard
4 oz pulled pork (I made mine by slow cooking it for 8 hrs on low in chicken stock, coconut milk, curry, and mesquite. It made awesome broth!)
1T macadamia oil
apple cider vinegar, just a splash
black pepper
sea salt
tarragon

Toss brussel sprouts into soup pot with lard. Cover and set on medium heat. Give them a stir every once in a while.
Fill a separate pot half way full with water and set to boil. Add sea salt, and some ACV. Give it a whirl to make a whirlpool and crack in your eggs. Remember to crack your eggs on the flat of the table and not the edge of anything. Allow eggs to cook for 3-5 mins depending on how soft you like your yolks.
Meanwhile, check to see if your brussels are tender. If they flake apart easily and smell like bacon, they're done. Throw down your pulled pork and mix well until they are warmed through.

Plate your poached eggs. You may, or may not, wish to slice open the yolk and allow some to cascade down your plate. Garnish with tarragon, pepper, and a drizzle of mac oil. Dish up some fat sprouts and happy piggy.

Tuck in, dudes, and have an awesome day!