PJF Cocobananarama Custard

I believe custard is one of God's most perfect meals. Fat + protein = pure awesomeness. I've done custard on the PJF blog before, but I wanted to do a 100% Paleo one. I believe this one fits the bill, and is a great PWO recovery meal to boot!

What you'll need:

1 old, super ripe, stinky banana
1 can coconut milk
4 eggs
1T raw vanilla (Ojio makes some)
VARIATION: Add some real pineapple juice to the base for a pina colada custard!

Preheat oven to 350F

Scramble eggs, cut in banana, and smash it up thoroughly.

Pour coconut milk and add vanilla

Pour into oven safe dishes

place in oven for 45 mins, or until knife comes out clean

Tuck in, dudes!

Spaghetti Doughnuts

UPDATE!  These Spaghetti Doughnuts were the recipe of the day for 2/27/12 on Fast Paleo
*Sigh* Do you remember those days when breakfast consisted of a doughnut and an extra large Nesquik? I sure do!
I also remember the resulting amount of insulin I'd have to take for it.

I've been thinking about doughnuts lately and even bought a doughnut pan, cuz I have nefarious plans for it. I guess we could start with this very perfidious one.
Earlier this evening we were sitting down to one of my favorite meals, Paleo Spaghetti. It's one of the most basic paleo recipes you should have in your repertoire (seriously, what's easier than cooking spaghetti squash, meat, sauce, and throwing it together in a bowl?)
Yet as I was eating, the husband looked over at me and (as many couples who have been married a number of years will know) sensed that something was on my mind. So he asked what's up.
"My inner mad scientist is chattering."
The husband, warily: "Whaaaat are you thiiiinking?" (cuz thoughts like that tend to get me into trouble)
"Spahgetti doughnuts."
"STOP."
*blink* "It's not wha-"
"It's wrong on so many levels."
*laughing* "Just let me finish"
The husband, not impressed, was still wary

What you'll need:

1/2 spaghetti squash, baked (this is a great recipe if you just had paleo spaghetti and need to use the other half of the squash)
1 lb ground beef, preferably grass fed (or pork, if you can get it pastured)
6 eggs
3/4c spaghetti sauce
1 can tomato paste
Parmesan (optional)
doughnut pan


Preheat oven 350F.

String out your baked spaghetti into a bowl.

Brown ground beef, and combine with squash. Add sauce. And ridiculous amount of grated/shredded parmesan if that's your kind of thing.

Scramble eggs and combine thoroughly with spaghetti.

When combined, it should move pretty fluidly- like cake batter.


Carefully place into doughnut pan

Bake until set, about 25-30 mins

And don't try to get creative by spinning this into pizza doughnuts either, cuz I already came up with that brain child *neener* :oP

Fat Sprouts and Happy Piggy

I will have you know that I am very pro-locavore. If I find a product produced locally and like it, I scream it to the world and get it whenever I can. Today's recipe is no different.

While out grocery shopping, I grabbed a copy of Edible Wasatch. It is, in the words of Rhino from the movie Bolt, "Be-Awesome!"
I am proud to live in a state so rich in food and culture, and equally proud to support it.

One of the recipes really jumped out at me, and I wanted to base a Paleo breakfast around it. This recipe is inspired by Executive chef, Michael Showers's Brussels with Pork Belly and Poached Egg. His recipe is already 100% Primal, but I wanted to make a couple of tweaks and make it my own.

What you'll need:

3 cups brussel sprouts
2 eggs
2 oz pastured lard
4 oz pulled pork (I made mine by slow cooking it for 8 hrs on low in chicken stock, coconut milk, curry, and mesquite. It made awesome broth!)
1T macadamia oil
apple cider vinegar, just a splash
black pepper
sea salt
tarragon

Toss brussel sprouts into soup pot with lard. Cover and set on medium heat. Give them a stir every once in a while.
Fill a separate pot half way full with water and set to boil. Add sea salt, and some ACV. Give it a whirl to make a whirlpool and crack in your eggs. Remember to crack your eggs on the flat of the table and not the edge of anything. Allow eggs to cook for 3-5 mins depending on how soft you like your yolks.
Meanwhile, check to see if your brussels are tender. If they flake apart easily and smell like bacon, they're done. Throw down your pulled pork and mix well until they are warmed through.

Plate your poached eggs. You may, or may not, wish to slice open the yolk and allow some to cascade down your plate. Garnish with tarragon, pepper, and a drizzle of mac oil. Dish up some fat sprouts and happy piggy.

Tuck in, dudes, and have an awesome day!

Gluten Free Fried Chicken

This one is inspired by my recent love affair with The Help. I probably can't cook like Minnie Jackson, but she inspired me to put my palm shortening to work on my stove top. Also, I love Celia Foote's character. We would totally be besties.
Somethin' 'bout fried chicken that just makes the soul feel better.
Also I chose palm shortening b/c it's what crisco used to be before it was a tub of mystery goo. Alternatively you can use pastured lard if you have access to it.

What you'll need:

2-3 lbs drumsticks
1/2c almond flour
1/2c coconut flour
1T curry powder (dunno why, but curry makes things taste like corn bread to me!)
black pepper
1T garlic powder
2 eggs
1/4c coconut milk
1.5c palm shortening (spectrum makes a nice one)

Beat eggs and coconut milk together until creamy

Fill ziploc with almond flour, coconut flour, curry, garlic powder, and pepper to taste.

Dip drumsticks into egg mix and toss into ziploc

Seal ziploc. Unseal just a corner and fill it with a deep breath of air. Officially seal.


Melt palm shortening in very large pan over high heat.

Now it's time to go to town. Shake & bake it. Dance. Okay, that's enough. The chicken is dead. "Yup, he dead."


Place in boiling oil and put your kitchen timer on for 4 mins. When the timer goes off, flip over. Repeat until all 4 sides of the drum stick have been cooked. You can even do 5 each side if you want (yes, drumsticks have 4 sides. Top, bottom, side, side).

When cooked through, and no longer pink in the middle, place on plate and pat dry. Serve with generous side of your favorite veggies.

By the way, do NOT burn the chicken. Minnie don't burn no chicken!

Sing We All Noel Cake

One of my favorite Christmas desserts is Buche de Noel. I could hand you a cuppa nog and recline by the fire, as we regale the history and origins of this delight, but I'd rather just get straight to cooking! Thus, I will refer you to here:
History of the Yule Log
and here:
Origins of Buche de Noel
and allow you come to your own conclusions

What you'll need:

CAKE

6 eggs, separated
1/2c stevia
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/3c cocoa powder
1/2c tapioca flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
pinch sea salt


FILLING/FROSTING

1/2c unsalted butter
1/2c palm shortening
1c egg nog (1/4c for the recipe, the rest for you, hahaha)
extra stevia to taste
optional: pumpkin spice

alternatively you could do a 16 oz package of cream cheese & 1/2c coconut oil with the egg nog & spice, and sweeten to taste


GARNISH
(all optional, but nice)
cranberries
mint leaves
truffles

TOOLS
You. (I MAKE A FUNNY!)
parchment paper
baking sheet
wax paper
butter/coconut oil
piping bag (optional, but helpful)

---

Preheat oven 350F

Now, some people will tell you to combine your wet ingredients separately from your dry ingredients, but honestly... I never do. Go ahead and separate your eggs, placing the yolks into the bowl with everything except the cream or tartar.

Whip up your egg whites with the cream of tartar into a fluffy consistency.

Fold your egg whites together with your chocolate cake batter, retaining as much fluff as possible.

Line your baking sheet with parchment paper and grease it with butter. Pour the batter in, and spread it out evenly over the entirety of the pan.

Bake for 7-10 mins, until cake shrinks away from sides a bit. I only cooked mine for 5.

Meanwhile, in large bowl, combine your butter, palm shortening, egg nog, and pumpkin spice (if desired). Give it a taste, then carefully sweeten with stevia if necessary.

Remove your cake from the oven and turn out on to a chilled pan lined with wax paper (easiest way is to chill your pan while cake is cooking, and once it comes out of oven, place wax paper on to cake, the chilled pan on top, then flip like a ninja). Allow to cool completely.

(trying to illustrate my ninja trick here)


Once cooled, spread your egg nog butter cream all over the cake until generously coated.

Depending on what kind of log you're going for, you can roll long and skinny, or short and fat. I'm preparing this for a party, so I will roll the long edge toward the other long edge for a handsome, thin log.

If you're slightly crazy, like me, your brain will recognize that this short and thin log would be a young yule log, so decorate it accordingly. If you roll the short edge toward the other short edge for a fat, stumpy log, make it look older. Does that make sense? Think of how saplings look and how very old, fat trees look.
Don't worry if the cake cracks a little, you're going to smother it with frosting anyway! Just go slow, treat it nicely, and gently pull the wax paper away from the cake as you roll it.
Once rolled, make a 90 degree angle cut, to suggest where the yule log may have been chopped down. Save the triangular piece you cut away, and set it aside.

Fill your piping bag with frosting and begin to lay down the "bark". If you have opted not to use a piping bag, thickly spread frosting on to cake. We will take care of bark look momentarily. When your cake is covered, place your triangular leftover strategically beside it to make it look like a cut branch. Frost this as well.

If NOT using a piping bag: Using the tines of a fork, or a clean toothbrush, gently drag through the frosting to make it look like bark (ah, the things you learn in college theatre tech classes!). Give it some waves, and what not. Make the stumpy ends of the cake circular.
If using piping bag: Lay down long strips of frosting side by side until cake is covered. use a circular motion to frost stumps. When coated, gently smooth over with butter knife (bumpy side), and give it waves and personality

Garnish with cranberry, mint leaves, and truffles if desired.

Okay, so I used bay leaf & goji... I didn't realize I was going to be making this out of the blue.

Improvise, but follow the recipe! ~Ratatouille